What are you afraid of?

Christ Carrying the Cross by Titian

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I recently woke up to this question: What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

Yeah, not gonna go back to sleep with that in my head…

I began asking myself lots of follow-up questions:

If I wasn’t afraid…

What would I start doing?
What would I stop doing?
What would I let go of?
What would I change?
What would I share with the people I love?

Christ on the Cross by Eugene Delacroix

I probably came up with at least 12-15 things that would happen (or stop happening) if I didn’t allow fear to have its way with me. No doubt there are many more.

I recently wrote about what taking counsel from my fears once cost me. Wish I could say that was the only time this happened…

Fear is a universal condition, of course. We all have things we’re afraid of. And sometimes the things we fear are genuinely frightening.

Fear of losing someone we love.
Fear of not having enough to provide for ourselves or our families.
Fear of not being prepared when given something important to do.
Fear of missing out on an opportunity or experience.
So many other fearful things that can terrify.

How exactly am I supposed to live with fear without living by fear?

(I bet you know where this is going, right?)

Early in the history of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, before it had even been organized, there was a man by the name of Oliver Cowdery who wanted to learn more for himself about a young prophet named Joseph Smith who lived in western New York. Oliver had been seeking spiritual enlightenment and was curious about rumors of golden plates, angelic visitations, and the possible restoration of Jesus’s New Testament church. Oliver made his way to Joseph’s family farm and was directed to Harmony, PA where Joseph was attempting to translate the ancient record he’d been given. Oliver soon became convinced of the truthfulness of Joseph’s divine calling, and shortly after became his scribe.

Within a month of this, Joseph and Oliver received a revelation regarding the work they were doing. I can’t imagine how overwhelmed they both felt at what was being asked of them. No doubt there was also some fear mixed in as they contemplated their commission. As this revelation concluded, the Savior gave them the following assurances, which I feel was directed to all of us, not just Joseph and Oliver:

Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not.

Behold the wounds which pierced my side, and also the prints of the nails in my hands and feet; be faithful, keep my commandments, and ye shall inherit the kingdom of heaven. Amen.

Doctrine & Covenants 6:36-37

Every thought.

Indulge me for a moment here. Every thought? Like, all of them?

The unclean/unworthy/unwelcome thoughts that appear out of nowhere?
The unkind thoughts I have about someone?
The unkind thoughts I have about myself?
Anxious thoughts. Fearful thoughts. Doubts.

What about thoughts of self-harm?

Yes, even those.

When the Savior says “every thought,” I think we are expected (commanded, even) to take Him at face value. No exclusions. No exceptions.

From Truman G. Madsen:

“Are any of our conceivable evil thoughts beyond the Lord? If so, would there be any sound foundation for trust in him? How can a Christ who does not know, whose awareness is restricted to an utterly other realm of awareness, really help us now? This ethereal view of Christ (reinforced, I am afraid, by much traditional theology) also implies that venomous or unworthy thoughts could not be entertained by him during his mortal life, not after.”

“He was in ‘all points tempted like as we are’ with ‘temptations of every kind.’ How low then can we go in our thoughts? Not as low as he in the contemplation of evil. He was tempted through ‘the darkest abyss’ and ‘descended below all things.’ Why? That he might be ‘in and through all things the light of truth.’ What? In and through my vagrant, aching, turbulent, unworthy thoughts? ‘Yes, my sons, yes.’ He has comprehended them all. His is the compassion of kinship.”

“You doubt? You fear to open up your own cauldron to the Christ? Then go on pretending, if you must, that there is a way to hide. But hear in the distance what, if you will, you can feel in the marrow in your bones. It is a contemporary voice the Lord expressed in the Doctrine and Covenants: ‘Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not.’”

“Christ and Conquering Thoughts,” Christ and the Inner Life

Christ bearing the cross by Jean de Mabuse

In short, when fearful thoughts come, think of Him.

More specifically, “Behold the wounds which pierced my side, and also the prints of the nails in my hands and feet.”

Something in the transformative power of His suffering can replace the gripping, immobilizing force of fear.

The Savior can succor us even in our thoughts.