But sweeter far thy face to see
"And their eyes were opened, and they knew him"
I’ve never seen Jesus face-to-face (that I know of or can remember.) Just want to make that clear up front. 👀
And truth be told, the thought of doing so brings some degree of fear and trembling. Could I even make eye contact with Him? Would I resist the urge to bow my head in shame for all the ways I yet lack, for my personal and ongoing contributions to His suffering, and for the countless ways I have brought tears to His eyes?
(I just realized I referred to the inspiration for my title in the paragraph above. You probably recognize it, right? It’s the first verse of the hymn Jesus, The Very Thought of Thee.)
“Jesus the very thought of thee, with sweetness fills my breast; But sweeter far thy face to see, and in thy presence rest.”
I want to feel these lovely words 100% And I do, mostly. But there is the issue of the gap between me and Jesus. I can’t pretend it’s not real. And sometimes, thinking about Him just makes it grow wider.
Near the end of my mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I was assigned to serve in Tucson, Arizona, the same place I had begun my mission. Christmas was less than two months away. As this life-changing experience was coming to a close, I felt increasing anxiety about what was next. My mission had changed everything. I thought and felt differently about myself, about others, and most of all, about God. But I also had a constant and palpable fear: What if I lost it all when I got home?
This was not an unrealistic concern. Earlier in my mission I had watched as a young man who had been home for just a few weeks abandoned his faith and standards. I was shocked. How could he lose everything so quickly? What was missing in his relationship with God that made breaking sacred commitments so easy to do? How was I any different than he was?
This shock and resulting anxiety persisted for the rest of my mission. In quiet moments, as I thought about life after I returned home, I would wonder if I had what it took to stay true. There was only one way to find out, and I was scared.
At some point during my service, someone shared the following quote from Ezra Taft Benson, which he originally shared during a Christmas devotional at BYU in 1974 titled Jesus Christ—Gifts and Expectations:
“Nothing is going to startle us more when we pass through the veil to the other side than to realize how well we know our Father and how familiar his face is to us.”
You’ve probably read or heard this quote before, right? But if not, what did you feel when you read it for the first time? Surprise? Hope? Self-reflection? That’s what I started to do when I first heard it.
What is he saying?
Is he saying that we might have seen God while here on earth and not realized we were seeing Him? Or is Elder Benson saying that our pre-mortal memory will be restored after death and we’ll have a rush of recollection as we see Him again, realizing how often He had been right there?
Or was he saying something else altogether?
I still don’t have answers to these questions.
There are only a few places in the scriptures where we read of someone seeing Jesus face-to-face (obviously there were many who saw Him during His early ministry. In this article I’m referring to those who have seen Him since He was resurrected and no longer here on earth.)
I’ll share two of my favorites:
First, in Moroni’s commentary near the end of the 12th chapter in the Book of Ether (one of my favorite chapters in The Book of Mormon, in case you give a whoop) Moroni says this after teaching about what it means to have faith in Jesus Christ:
39 And then shall ye know that I have seen Jesus, and that he hath talked with me face to face, and that he told me in plain humility, even as a man telleth another in mine own language, concerning these things;
40 And only a few have I written, because of my weakness in writing.
Only two verses long, but so full of implications. Where did this conversation take place? Was it an ongoing one? How long did they talk, and about what? Did Moroni get to ask questions? Did Jesus give him any hint of what was yet to come, for him personally and for all of us?
(Author’s note: Have you ever wondered if we’ll get to see “reruns” of some of these events? Add that one to my Millennium wish list :-)
My second favorite: The story of the two disciples on the road to Emmaus. So full of drama and pathos and intimacy. Can you imagine what these two talked about after this experience? We only know the name of one of the two - Cleopas. And some have suggested that the other unnamed disciple was a woman. I love that thought. Here is the poignant moment when they invite their new Acquaintance to join them for an evening meal.
29 But they constrained him, saying, Abide with us: for it is toward evening, and the day is far spent. And he went in to tarry with them.
(Was this at their home? It seems so. And if so, what a moment! Would you try and preserve the bread He touched? The cup so recently pressed against His lips? The linen used to clean His hands before the meal?)
30 And it came to pass, as he sat at meat with them, he took bread, and blessed it, and brake, and gave to them.
31 And their eyes were opened, and they knew him; and he vanished out of their sight.
32 And they said one to another, Did not our heart burn within us, while he talked with us by the way, and while he opened to us the scriptures?
“And their eyes were opened, and they knew him; and he vanished out of their sight.”
There are verses of scripture that take my breath away. This is one. They had seen Him on the cross! They had helped to place Him in Joseph’s tomb! They had mourned and wept and wondered at His strange words, “After three days I shall rise again.” To sit with Him, the living, resurrected Christ, to feel the Spirit witness that He lives, to have Him teach from the scriptures with power, was without a doubt a moment they would never forget.
So, after all of that, what? An ache only One can soothe. A resolve to again and forever keep looking. To live with my spiritual eyes open wide just in case. To see that gentle countenance. To earn that loving smile. To look into those eyes filled with perfect love.
To see Him. To see Him.
Next week on The Bright & Morning Star…
A surprise! 🧨
(I wish this meant that I already had something amazing written and just waiting to share, but the truth is, I’ve had several different ideas but haven’t quite decided which is the right one to write about. But I promise it will be…something!)
